If youâ€™re an American Idol contestant, your goal is to get into the Top 5.Â From that lofty position you should immediately proceed down the fast track to stardom.Â Right?Â Not this year.Â Last nightâ€™s AI episode should have been called â€śGoldilocks and The Three Somnambulists.â€ťÂ These were the best movie songs available to sing?Â What a collection of forgettable performances.Â They oughta just call this year a draw and put America out of its miseryÂ Â
Are you beginning to see the light?Â Lee DeWyze is a flash in the pan.Â Now he just looks like heâ€™s bored with the whole thing.Â And â€śKiss From A Roseâ€ť?Â Quick!Â Name which movie itâ€™s fromâ€”and no googling.Â It was an add-on to the â€śBatman Foreverâ€ť soundtrack.Â Sure it won the 1996 Grammy for Song Of The Year, but talk about sleepy.Â Lee was on pitch about one-third of the song and should be in the Bottom 2 tonight.Â Â Â
What would possess Michael Lynche to pick a Michael Jackson song from â€śFree Willyâ€ť of all things?Â That choice alone should get him sent home.Â Even had his performance been stellar, you knew he was going to get ridiculed by the judges.Â â€śMichael Jacksonâ€ť and â€śFree Willyâ€ť?Â I bet you can think of about 5 bad jokes right now.Â Thatâ€™s what the whole thing was: a bad joke. Â Â
Poor olâ€™ Casey James.Â He gets to put a guitar back in his hands this week, and itâ€™s Mini Me.Â (Easy joke there, too.)Â The judges spent more time laughing about Kara being Caseyâ€™s Mrs. Robinson than they did evaluating his performance of the Simon and Garfunkel classic from
"The Graduate".Â Canâ€™t say that I blame them.Â Not much to talk about with Caseyâ€™s performance.Â
Crystal Bowersox culminated the evening with a rousing performance from that all-time cinematic classic â€śCaddyshackâ€ť.Â â€śSomebody step on a duck?â€ťÂ All I could think about when Crystal was performing â€śIâ€™m Alrightâ€ť was a dancing gopher.Â
The duets were good, but I was so bored by then I didn't care.Â Â Â
The only thing I know is that Crystal wonâ€™t be one of them. She was the only one awake by the end of the show.