I'm A Rock Star! No, I Really Am!
by dhayes
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posted Nov 4 2011 12:52PM
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You can take the girl off the Disney Channel, but you can’t take the Disney Channel off the girl. Mylie Cyrus'/Hannah Montana's performance last night on American Idol was certainly animated—like a straight-to-DVD cartoon movie. Despite her protestations to the contrary, Mylie Cyrus is a product, and one of the most smartly marketed products ever. How do you promote your new movie that just happens to be opening in theaters on March 31st? Well, you get a slot as a mentor on the #1 TV show in America. Never mind that your qualifications as a singing coach are somewhat dubious. Now, teaching young girls how to dress and act inappropriately for their age? At that you excel. But I digress. So, Mylie starts off at the piano singing “When I Look At You” from her new movie “The Last Song” in that unusually husky voice of hers. OK, I’m starting to buy in—a little. Then Hannah takes over. When the guitarist “rips into the guitar solo” Hannah starts "banging her head". “Look America, I’m not Hannah. I’m Mylie and I can rock. No, really, I can rock! Look, I got hair extensions and everything!” Hannah, honey, it’s a BALLAD—from a teeny-bopper movie. And Mylie certainly does not rock. Now, “Party In The U.S.A”, I believe. At least that’s pure, honest commercialism. Trying to sell yourself as a true rockin’ artist is pure baloney.
Oh, by the way Paige Miles got the axe last night. Shocker. The only thing shocking was that Andrew Garcia wasn’t in the bottom three. His place was taken by Katie Stevens. Tim Urban was in there, too, as predicted. So here’s how I rank the Top Ten going into next week’s round:
- Crystal Bowersox.
- Casey James
- Siobhan Magnus
- Aaron Kelly
- Michael Lynche
- Lee Dewyze
- Didi Benami
- Katie Stevens
- Andrew Garcia
- Tim Urban
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